Aw Simon… :’)
Words can not describe my love for this man.
(Source: missmayra)
Jake and Amir: Thumb War (this was the script I submitted, ya it's short and kinda lame)
- Amir: Jake.
- (Jake ignores Amir because he is working)
- Amir: Did you know that the length of the average man's penis is 3 times the length of his thumb?
- (Jake looks somewhat interested, but still ignores Amir)
- Amir: Did you know that the length of... (Jake cuts off Amir)
- Jake: I heard you the first time.
- (Awkward silence (~3 seconds), Jake begins to look at his thumb and tries to straighten it)
- Amir: So... I was just looking at my thumb and I... (Jake cuts off Amir)
- Jake: Stop right there.
- Amir: What? I was just telling you how my dick is actually around 3 times the length of my thumb.
- Jake: (facepalm) God.. Do you really think this is appropriate for the office? Nobody wants to know... (Amir cuts off Jake)
- Amir: How big is your thumb?
- Jake: I don't know.
- Amir: What do you mean? Don't you measure your thumb?
- Jake: Why would I measure my thumb?
- Amir: I do it all the time.
- Jake: I asked you why not how often.
- Amir: I wanted to know... (Jake cuts off Amir)
- Jake: God. Just don't say it. I have a lot of work to do and I'm pretty sure you do too. So just... (Amir cuts off Jake)
- Amir: How big your dick is.
- Jake: What?
- Amir: What?
- (Awkward silence, Jake looks somewhat disgusted and shocked)
- Amir: I wanted to know how big my dick is.
- Jake: That's NOT what you said. And why would you measure your thumb when you can just measure your dick?
- Amir: (Amir wants to say something, but doesn't know what)
- (~3 second silence)
- Amir: Let's have a thumb war.
- (Jake looks angry)
- END.
350 plays
“Jeff is an asshole, Rosie’s an asshole, I wouldn’t be caught dead hanging out with Patrick Cassels… I don’t see why you’d wanna hang out with anyone else… buttt meeeee~” ”stop stop stop stop stop stop now”
Baby
- Amir: I'm fairly confident that I am now with child.
- Jake: Why don't you say all the reasons you think you are pregnant and I'll say the reasons I think you're not.
- Amir: ... Backaches
- Jake: You're a guy.
- Amir: Headaches
- Jake: You're a guy.
- Amir: Tender breasts.
- Jake: You're a... tender breasts?
- Amir: Very... *pokes his own boob* Ow.
There is no I in TEAM. But we have discovered for ourselves that there is an I in WIN. Unfortunately there’s no I in WON, which we did. By a lot.
Jake Hurwitz
260 plays
March madness 3 where Amir is singing and Guitar shopping. :)
Moving
- Amir: T, U, V... W, X... Y unt..... Z. Zee Zee Zee Zee Zee.
- Jake: Great, yes I got it. Great job man, maybe next time you should st...
- Amir: Start before T? Okay, don't even think about it you know I'm dyslexic.
- Jake: You're not dyslexic.
- Amir: Lazy...
- Jake: You're illiterate.
- Amir: Cute.
- Jake: Illiterate.
- Amir: Ah~
- Jake: No, no, I know what that look is, you just convinced yourself that I said you were cute and not illiterate.
291 plays
Awkward Rap - CollegeHumor (Best Song Ever.)
